Paul Kachoris: How men can navigate their mid-life crises
March 25, 2021
With Paul Kachoris
I'm joined by Dr. Paul J. Kachoris, MD. Paul has been a psychiatrist for over 50 years working with children, adolescents and adults and still runs a private psychiatric practice. Since 1990 he has been involved with "men's work" co-leading men's weekend retreats with Victories of the Heart. His professional interests besides his private practice, are men's studies, men's retreats, neuroscience, humanities and writing poetry. Paul is a father of two sons and one daughter and a grandfather of 5 grandsons and 4 granddaughters.
In this episode we're going to tackle how we develop as men and specifically, what tasks do we need to experience and navigate as we get older. This know as the male developmental schema. We'll focus a bit more on the "mid life passage" that occurs between 35-50, when we tend to go through different mid-life crises. This show will provide an overview of what emotional needs men have and need to fulfill. Here are a few of the topics we covered:
What is Victories of the Heart and why did it change his life
How fear got in the way of Paul having deeper connection
What happened after his first men's retreat
How men's work helped him become a better psychiatrist and therapist
What has happened with men's movements over the last 30-40 years
How culture and media program archetypes of men into us
How traditional views of masculinity have created isolation and loneliness
Why shame slowed the men's movement
The tyranny of the playground
What is the male developmental schema?
How Paul developed his own schema based on the work of several authors and researchers
What is the midlife passage that happens between 35-50?
What are some of the triggers that cause men to seek help?
How Paul navigated his midlife passage
Do we have to wait for a crisis to wakeup and change?
The warrior, the lover, the magician, and the king archetypes
How the archetypes show up in everyday life and how they've changed for Paul over time
Why we have to take care of what's between our ears
Mentioned on the show
https://www.victoriesformen.org
Iron John by Robert Bly: https://www.amazon.com/Iron-John-Book-About-Men/dp/0306813769
ManKind Project: https://mankindproject.org
Robert Moore - King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: https://www.amazon.com/King-Warrior-Magician-Lover-Rediscovering/dp/0062506064
Carl Jung: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Jung
Erik Erikson - Childhood and Society: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DI29D8M/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
George E. Vaillant - Triumphs of Experience - The Men of the Harvard Grant Study: https://www.amazon.com/Triumphs-Experience-Harvard-Grant-Study/dp/0674503813
The Seasons of a Man's Life by Daniel J. Levinson: https://www.amazon.com/Seasons-Mans-Daniel-Levinson-1986-05-12/dp/B01FKUSDGC/
The Midlife Passage by James Hollis: https://www.amazon.com/Passage-STUDIES-JUNGIAN-PSYCHOLOGY-ANALYSTS/dp/0919123600/